


Sherstrade ficlet: Self-doubt

by Readingfanfics



Series: Practice Stories [51]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, M/M, Talking, not feeling good enough, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 03:38:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10069505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readingfanfics/pseuds/Readingfanfics
Summary: Greg has some concerns, Sherlock has none.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I just really like writing about Sherlock adn Greg and one, or both of them thinking they aren't good enough. Today, it's Greg's turn.

“Sherlock, I'm not good for you. Not good enough.”

 

“Don't say that.”

 

“I have to Sherlock. Before it's too late and we do something stupid.”

 

Greg gently pushed Sherlock back, needing some space to think. He wanted nothing more then to forget and kiss Sherlock again and again until they were both breathless but he needed to use his head for this. It was too important. He looked into Sherlock's face, seeing the hurt there in his beautiful eyes and he felt like an arsehole for stopping this.

 

“You. You're wonderful Sherlock. You're the smartest man I've ever met, there is nobody else like you and that's the point.”

 

Sherlock frowned, looking utterly confused and lost and Greg hated himself for being the reason. He took Sherlock's hand because he couldn't stop himself and squeezed it before taking a breath and looking into Sherlock's eyes again.

 

“You are unique Sherlock. You deserve someone who's, well, not me.”

 

Sherlock pulled his hand out of Greg's and it felt like the world stopped and crumbled down. Greg swallowed, seeing the way Sherlock's eyes hardened, crossing his arms before his chest and looking right into Greg's soul.

 

“That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard.”

 

Sherlock's voice was hard, an edge of irritation and anger in it and Greg could only blink, opening and closing his mouth like an idiot as Sherlock uncrossed his arms, rubbing his eyes with a hand and heaving a sigh.

 

“You're telling me you don't want to try this because you're not good enough for me?”

 

Greg nodding, feeling a blush rise as Sherlock rolled his eyes, his whole body going tense.

 

“You're an idiot Lestrade. If there is anyone out there who is good enough for me, it's you.”

 

Greg sucked in a breath, seeing the conviction in Sherlock's eyes and not able to speak. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, shaking his head at the same time. Sherlock reached out and took his head and Greg couldn't do anything but grab it back, holding on for dear life.

 

“Sherlock. I know you think that what you're feeling is real but-”

 

“Don't,” Sherlock's voice was hard again,his hand squeezing Greg's as his eyes where like fire. “Don't tell me what I do and don't feel. Don't tell me this isn't real. You feel it too.”

 

Greg nodded, looking away again as the emotions in Sherlock's eyes were too much, too bold.

 

“And it feels real to you right?”

 

Another nod. Of course it felt real, he'd been in love with Sherlock for over a year now. It only intensified as he got to know the man more, learning more about him, seeing the softer sides when they were alone. The idea of being with Sherlock was always in his mind, even dreaming about it. It felt right. It felt good but now Sherlock had kissed him and he wasn't sure if it was worth it.

 

“Then why not try this? What are you afraid of Greg?”

 

Greg sighed, looking at the ground again as he tried to form sentences to explain.

 

“I want you in my life Sherlock. The idea of you not being in it, it's beyond terrifying. I don't want to lose you and this”, Greg gestured between them, a sad smile on his face, “ whatever this is, it could change everything.”

 

“Change is inevitable Greg. It's already changed, the moment I kissed you, our relationship changed.”

 

Greg couldn't believe how calm Sherlock was, how in control and sure he sounded. He'd always figured Sherlock would freak out by anything concerning relationships yet here he was, patiently waiting, watching Greg with intensity and light hope.

 

“We could pretend it never happened but I don't want to Greg. I want to remember this, even kiss you again. And, I'm not perfect. You call me all these things like I'm some sort of god. I can assure you, I'm not.”

 

Sherlock gave a tiny smile and Greg huffed. Of course he knew Sherlock wasn't perfect, he had an arrogance about him that drove people mad. He could be hurtful and rude, sometimes making a suspect cry with his sharp tongue but he was also kind and cared so much, giving himself 200% to solve a case, giving answers to family members. The contradictions in him made Greg just love him more.

 

“You're not just human either Sherlock.”

 

Sherlock's face went comically confused and Greg give a squeeze in Sherlock's hand, liking the coolness of it against his skin. For some reason Sherlock always felt colder then him.

 

“I don't understand.”

 

“It's just, I don't know. You are so smart Sherlock, so bright, you never miss anything. You're gorgeous and a little mysterious but you don't seem to realise how you effect people.”

 

Greg saw the blush form on Sherlock's pale cheeks and it made him look even more beautiful. He reached out and stroked Sherlock's cheek, not able to resist. Sherlock's breath caught and Greg's stomach did a nasty flip.

 

“People don't like me Greg. You do.”

 

Greg shook his head, dropping his hand down to take Sherlock's other hand.

 

“People like you Sherlock. Molly practically adores you.”

 

A huff and an eye roll was all the comment Greg got and he couldn't hide his smile. It was weird how Sherlock hadn't noticed how Molly tried and failed to flirt with him. It was obvious to him, probably to everyone else too, but Sherlock didn't notice it. Or maybe didn't want to. He never noticed how people stared at him,how they turned their heads when he entered a room and when Greg commented on it he just waved his hand, going right back to deducing the crime scene.

“People tolerate me Greg, they tolerate me because I solve their crimes. That's hardly liking me.”

 

Sherlock's eyes went a bit sad and Greg felt his heart break for the men. He patted Sherlock's hands, bringing them up to place a kiss on the knuckles and seeing Sherlock's little smile was enough to make Greg feel on top of the world.

 

“I'm scared Sherlock. I'm scared we'll try this and you'll realise just how ordinary and boring I am. You need someone who can keep up with you.”

 

Greg looked down, realising how true his statement was. Sherlock was nothing sort of a genius and he was just an old copper. What could he possible give Sherlock?

 

“You keep up with me just fine! Don't do this Greg. Don't act as if you aren't good enough for me, don't act as if I deserve more!”

 

“But you do!”

 

“Stop it! Why are you doing this?! If you don't want me then just tell me, don't feed me stupid lies cause because-”

 

Greg stopped him with a fierce kiss, hearing the surprised intake of breath before Sherlock relaxed and returned the kiss.

 

“I want you Sherlock! God, I'd give the world to be called yours.”

 

“Then why are you acting so stupid?”

 

“Oi!”

 

Sherlock just raised an eyebrow and Greg swallowed around the lump in his throat.

 

“You're way out of my league Sherlock.”

 

Sherlock snorted and Greg looked up, seeing the eye roll Sherlock gave him.

 

“Please. I'm a junkie who loves solving murders, hardly top material to work with.”

 

“Ex junkie.” Greg couldn't keep the ice out of his voice and Sherlock just waved his hand.

 

“I'll always be a junkie Greg, I'll always crave it.”

 

“But you won't do it again, hence the 'ex'.”

 

Greg's eyes burned as he watched Sherlock, he hated how Sherlock though so little of himself because of one mistake. It didn't define him, and Greg knew Sherlock would never go back to that life. He just knew,even if Sherlock didn't.

 

“Don't you see Greg? You're everything to me. Why is that so hard to believe?”

 

Sherlock's voice had a pleading edge to it as he moved closer, cupping Greg's face in his hands.

 

“I love you Greg. I've loved you for a long time now. Please, don't ruin this because your scared.”

Greg saw a tear in Sherlock's eyes and felt his heart break. His hand grabbed Sherlock's shirt, gripping it tightly as he took a deep breath.

 

“You're sure about this? About me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Sherlock said it with so much conviction it was hard not to believe it. He searched Sherlock's face, trying to find anything that he was lying but Greg couldn't see it. All he saw was love and hope and he pulled Sherlock closer, a soft smile on his lips. He was still scared to death it would all blow up in his face, Sherlock realising he'd made a huge mistake, finding someone better, someone younger, but Sherlock was right. He had to try, it was everything he'd ever wanted and fear had always been a bad motivator for anything.

 

So he closed the distance, rubbing Sherlock's nose with his own before kissing him softly, Sherlock letting out a sigh as his hands went into Greg's hair, gently stroking it.

 

“I love you Sherlock. I'll do everything in my power to make this work.”

 

Sherlock smiled, gently shaking his head before kissing Greg again.

 

“We'll make this work, together. I love you too Greg, and I'm not going anywhere.”

 


End file.
